


Discovering New Meanings and Things

by magicianparrish



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Immortal Husbands, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26363572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicianparrish/pseuds/magicianparrish
Summary: “Nile!” Joe had repeated. Nile had turned the TV down and shifted her spot on the couch to face them.Nicky had taken the time to put some of the bags on the table, and start unpacking them, while Joe practically threw his. Nicky raised his eyebrows at his love but didn’t comment as he took food out and put it in the fridge.“Nile, did you know this new store, called Target, sells bombs?” he said.___________________________________________________________________________________Nicky and Joe discover Bath bombs. Nile finds it hilarious.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Comments: 14
Kudos: 355





	Discovering New Meanings and Things

**Author's Note:**

> This movie literally clubbed me in the head, knocked me out, and tied me up because I cannot stop thinking about it. This is my first work for the fandom, but this idea came to me in the shower this morning and I thought it was hilarious and had to write and share it. 
> 
> (Not edited or beta'd)

Joe came in through the door of their safehouse, practically kicking it down. They had decided to cross over the pond to the United States and were staying in an apartment in Orlando. 

They had flown in the night before into Orlando International Airport, where upon leaving the air-conditioned place, were hit by a wave of humidity that only Florida summers could give. Nile had been to Orlando once before when her family had taken a trip to Disney World and Universal when she was eight but hadn’t been back since. And it was obvious that the safe house hadn’t seen recent action either. 

Andy had looked at the place with disdain, which was nothing unusual. She much preferred to stay anywhere else except the United States. Nicky had taken it in stride, not complaining about the humidity or the number of tourists dressed in Disney gear that had surrounded them on their flight with their little kids screaming and crying. Joe was more interested in why there were a hundred gift stores going up and down the interstate, all with crazier decorations than the next. He had commented on how he did not enjoy seeing a giant wizard’s face from one of those gift shops and how it seemed to stare at him. 

Orlando was an interesting place. Once you got out of the theme park bubble, it was pretty easy to stay anonymous. Which was what they were looking for. They were in between missions at the moment, and Nile was still technically in training. When they had arrived in the apartment, it smelled of must and dust. She had wiped a finger on a counter in the kitchen of the apartment which left a pile of dust on her finger. She shook it out and wiped it on her pants, trying not to sneeze. The furniture was a ragtag conglomerate that had definitely seen better days. It would not have surprised her if it had come from a dumpster. The cabinets were nearly empty, and she had found a carton of milk that had expired nearly ten years ago. Nile felt vomit enter her throat before she was able to catch it. She had then taken a deep breath and raided the fridge and tossed everything into the local dumpster behind the apartment building complex. 

“God, who’s safe house is this? Don’t y’all know to clean your fridges of any expirable things before you leave?” she complained when she came back. 

Joe and Nicky had already taken their spot on the couch, cuddled up next to each other. Andy had disappeared. 

“It was Booker’s,” Nicky said in that quiet tone. “He always found the most...interesting places.” 

Booker was still a bit of a sore spot for them, though it had been nearly five years since the incident. It was a little easier to talk about him, but the team as a whole tried to avoid it. Nile had then taken a closer look at the place and could see the hints of Booker around. The old wood bookshelf with dusty book covers. Empty bottles of wine and other liquors scattered around the place. 

Nile had hummed, and then took it upon herself to clean the place up a little bit. For her own sanity. Then she had taken the next day off to herself, while Andy went out somewhere, and Nicky and Joe went to do some errands. Nile enjoyed the quiet time to herself. It was not often that she got it, traveling with this bunch. Since she was still so new at the game, either Andy or Nicky and Joe would split and take her with them, depending on what the situation was. Nile loved Andy to death, loved being around another woman who got it. But she also loved being Nicky and Joe too. They had practically adopted her and doted on her to make sure she was fitting in well. And it also helped that they had the best safehouses in the world. They certainly didn’t skimp out. She had especially liked the villa with that beautiful ocean view in Malta. 

But it was nice to just be alone, turning on the TV that had cable for once, and flipping through channels. It was a semblance of normalcy that she craved in between living her new hectic immortal life. She had turned on a movie and had been idly watching it, not really paying attention. She had been sure she saw in theaters years ago, but couldn’t recall. It didn’t really garner her interest, but she liked the ambient noise it gave her. 

It was during this, that Joe and Nicky had returned. 

“Nile!” Joe had called through the door. He walked in with plastic bags in his hands, with Nicky following close behind, shutting the door carefully. 

“Nile!” Joe had repeated. Nile had turned the TV down and shifted her spot on the couch to face them. 

Nicky had taken the time to put some of the bags on the table, and start unpacking them, while Joe practically threw his. Nicky raised his eyebrows at his love but didn’t comment as he took food out and put it in the fridge. 

“Nile, did you know this new store, called Target, sells bombs?” he said. 

Nile’s eyes widened and she shot up from the couch. “What?” 

It had been a few years since she had stepped foot in a Target. She knew that they sold practically everything in there, but bombs? She was skeptical, but the tone of Joe’s voice said differently. She walked over to the kitchen table where they both were. 

“Bombs?” Nile had asked, emphasizing her words. 

Joe nodded his head. “Yes, Nile. Bombs.” He then went looking through all the plastic bags with the iconic white and red Target logo. She glanced at Nicky who didn’t seem too bothered by it. 

“So, I took all of them off the shelves, and bought them,” he said, not looking up. 

“Bombs, Nicky?” she decided to ask him. 

Nicky just hummed and nodded his head, as he took out a variety of spices he had bought to put them in the pantry. 

“ _ Sì _ ,” he affirmed. “I found it quite odd as well, that they would sell some sort of explosive in a store. But this is also America, so I put nothing off the table.” 

Nile ran through that thought for a moment, before she agreed. “Yeah, that’s America for you. Where you can buy guns and groceries in the same store.” 

Joe let out a triumphant scream. “Aha!” He reached into one of the bags and then pulled out something from it. 

It was a black plastic package, with a round object in the middle, and a description in white font. Nile narrowed her eyes and held out her hand towards Joe. 

“Let me see that,” she said. 

Joe happily obliged and gave it to her, which she then looked up closer inspection. At the top of the packaging it read ‘Da Best Bombs’, and underneath it ‘Galaxy Bomb’. Nile then burst into laughter, confusing Nicky and Joe who shared a look with each other. 

“What is so funny?” Joe asked. 

Nile felt her stomach clench from laughing so hard. She felt tears streaming down her face. She tried to compose herself, but seeing the looks on Nicky and Joe’s faces made her double over with hysterical laughter again. 

“Nile, are you okay?” Nicky asked, walking towards her with a hand ready to comfort. 

Nile waved them off. “Yes,” she wheezed. “I’m fine. Really I am.” 

“Are you sure?” Joe asked. 

Nile took a deep breath, trying to control herself. She sat back up, letting herself take some deep breaths. Nicky had gotten her a glass of water and silently slid it towards her. She took a sip, feeling better. 

“ _ Grazie _ ,” she said. She tried to practice her Italian when with Nicky. 

Nicky gave her a small smile. One that said he appreciates her effort. “ _ Prego _ .” 

When she felt composed enough she started to speak again but took a seat by the table. She gestured towards the bags. 

“Joe, how many of these things did you buy?” 

Joe picked up one of the bags and dumped it on the table. Twenty came rolling out, all different colors and descriptions. Nile ran a hand over her head and tried hard not to fall into another fit of uncontrollable laughter. 

“Oh my god,” she breathed out. 

“What?” Joe demanded, his face pinched. “What are they? What is so funny?” 

“Oh, I have so much to teach y’all,” Nile commented and sighed. She picked up another one of the packages. This one was called a Disco Bomb. 

“Guys,” she said looking at both of them. “They are not real bombs. They’re bath bombs.” 

Nicky tilted his head to the side, confusion written on his face. “Why would we want to bomb a bath?” 

Nile shook her head. “No, no, no. They’re not bombs in the sense of the word you know. It’s a thing where you drop this into a bathtub filled with water, and it fizzles and makes it pretty colors and smells nice.” 

“Why would they call it a bomb then?” Joe asked seriously. 

Nile shrugged. “I have no idea. But do you wanna see one in action?” 

Nicky and Joe shared a look between themselves. It was another thing Nile was getting used to. The secret language that they had developed from being together for 900 years. They barely had to speak a word in order to have a conversation. Nicky turned to Nile first with a smile. 

“Well, since we bought all of these...bath bombs. Might as well use them,” he answered. He then patted Joe on the arm. “And mister artist would probably like this too.” 

Joe was reading the labels on one of the bombs with intent. He was rubbing his beard with his hand and nodding. He flipped the package back and forth a few times. 

“Yes, it seems quite obvious in retrospect that these were not real bombs,” he said. 

“Eh, I don’t blame you. English is a slippery bastard of a language at the best of times,” Nile defended. 

Nicky let out a snort of laughter he then tried to hide, but his green eyes were sparkling with mirth. Joe looked up after a moment with a smile, nodding along. 

“Yes, you are quite right with that, Nile. Let’s go see what these babies can do.” 

They walked into the small bathroom together, and Nicky drew the bathwater. They watched the tub fill with water until it got to the right height. Nile had gotten a pair of scissors from a drawer in another room to help open the package. 

“Which one do you want to drop first?” she asked. 

Nicky picked one up at random and handed it to Nile. It was the disco one. Nicky looked at Joe with a smirk. 

“Remember disco, Joe?” he asked. 

Joe let out a bark of laughter. “Hard not to, my love,” he said before winking at Nile. 

Nile did not want to know what he meant by that, so she pointedly ignored it. She opened the box, and the strong scent of fruit punch filled the room. Nile blinked and held it away from her face. 

“Does it always smell this strong?” Nicky asked, his shirt covering his nose. 

“I don’t know, I’ve never dropped one before,” Nile admitted. She took the bath bomb out of the package and held it in her hands. 

“Everyone ready?” she asked. 

They both nodded, and Nile dropped it. It made a loud plop noise as it hit the water. It immediately started to fizz loudly, and the color seeped into the water. They all watched with curiosity as it did its thing. 

“It seems...kind of boring,” Joe admitted after a few seconds. Nicky nodded in agreement. 

But then a light burst out of the bomb, surprising all of them. Joe let out another laugh hitting Nicky and Nile in the arms at the same time. He pointed at the bomb. 

“Ah, look at that! It lights up!” 

Nicky hummed watching. “That is why they called it the disco bomb.” 

It soon fizzled out into nothing, leaving just colorful bathwater. Nile turned to the two of them. 

“Want to try another?” 

Both Nicky and Joe nodded eagerly and then started the process again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this ridiculous story. I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you enjoyed reading it! 
> 
> Drop some comments and kudos below, I'd appreciate it! :)


End file.
